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"I'm always wondering what babies are thinking." - IMYY4U.
"He's thinking, what can I put in my mouth?" - Slacker.
"So am I!"
   —Idiot 2023-03-11

Show him how you put it in your mouth.
   —Asianseductress 2023-01-01

Can I smell her butt?
   —IMYY4U 2022-01-02 03:04:58

It simplifies everything because then all you have is a system of differential equations.
   —Idiot 2021-08-07 20:00:58

(To L1) You said white chocolate is just as good, which invalidates your entire argument.
   —Idiot 2021-03-15 01:45:21

There's nothing I like more than dog butt
   —Slacker 2021-02-15 02:09:20

Show me your feet again. That kinda gets me excited.
   —Impatient 2020-05-18 03:04:12

Have you tasted Scott yet
   —Idiot 2019-09-11 13:35:33

I'm really excited for sloppy hos
   —Asianseductress 2011-11-11 14:51:25

(About Padre) He went to rub one out. When you have a 25-incher, it takes a while - Slacker
He has to wring it out afterward.
   —Idiot 2010-01-02 01:03:53

It's scribblenauts, but I like squirrelnuts better.
   —Idiot 2009-09-25 21:16:54

"You'd rather sleep with a man than be a woman?" -- IMYY4U
I'd have to know how they make the vaginas.
   —Hilts 2009-09-12 17:34:38

"Wow, (Hilts), what are you looking at? It looks really complicated." - Idiot
It's a Star Trek:TNG episode guide.
   —Hilts 2009-01-02 21:16:13

Who wants to stuff some junk in my love trunk?
   —Padre 2009-01-02 21:14:55

Just makes me want to smoke dope.
   —cypher 2009-01-02 13:23:04

I apparently like penis.
   —Impatient 2007-09-22 01:42:07

Z, if you're sleeping on the bed with me, you're not facing me.
   —Impatient 2007-09-22 01:12:49

"Z's morning wood is a..." - Slacker
Sequoia.
   —Padre 2007-09-22 00:23:08

My dick could be in law school.
   —L1 2007-08-05 09:39:15

It's jizz peak on Mount St. Poop
   —Slacker 2007-08-05 09:22:28

(In a game of Taboo)
"When he can only move one space at a time" -Slacker
"Zwerups."
   —Stefanie 2007-03-03 14:25:02

(In a game of Taboo)
"When Z is raping his black self..." -Slacker
"Chess."
   —Padre 2007-03-03 14:24:19

I was entranced by the baby in the pink nightie.
   —Padre 2006-12-30 22:11:40

Why would anyone want to have butt sex?
-AsianSeductress
Have you SEEN that cute little hole?

   —Slacker 2006-12-17 20:27:18

Shh...Deaf-child area!
   —Cypher 2006-09-21 22:12:23

I'm an incontinent pre-pubescent girl.
   —Idiot 2006-09-21 22:03:36

Come on, we want to see Tom's sack of bigguns. I'll stick some value into your pricing structure.
   —Hilts 2006-04-09 02:40:28

Last weekend I ate out both Scott and Brandon.
   —Asianseductress 2006-03-13 01:43:27

My penis is VERY small.
   —IMYY4U 2006-03-11 00:23:04

How about bi-fisting?
   —Idiot 2006-03-10 22:23:26

I was thinking... if it were three guys it would only be a one way.
   —Scoot 2006-03-05 11:37:21

Woo, can you sneak in my foot long?
   —Scoot 2006-03-05 11:36:58

That would be weird to go down on.
   —Idiot 2006-03-05 11:36:29

I really want a gang bang.
   —Asianseductress 2006-02-21 21:24:37

(Hilts' sister: So, what do you guys do for fun?)
I'm growing an eggplant that looks like Richard Nixon.
   —Z

I can't believe he pull that one out of his ass. - Slacker
Yeah, apparently there's more than just shit up there; there's information.
   —Padre

(In response to whether Original Z said "campus") Yes, I gave myself a campus tour with my bottlecap.

   —OriginalZ

I opened his ass. Now he's ready to receive.
   —IMYY4U

I like my ass collection.
   —Padre

*singing* Collecting the ass, collecting the ass.
   —IMYY4U

(Discussing why Jewish people break the wine glass at weddings) It's preparing the wife for her custodial duty.
   —Padre

It's the wrist action.
   —Idiot

I'm dating ImYY4U...why?
   —Dog eating bitch

Would you like to drink from my cum?
   —ImYY4U

I've still got poop stuck in my teeth.
   —Slacker

What we do during the show is what makes it lesbian night.
   —Asianseductress

I have all the sticky in my mouth.

   —Tojo

(Let's play Stratego - Idiot)
Let's play facial tissue.
   —Padre

(To Slacker) I'll kill you with my cumshot.
   —ImYY4U

I love guys when they're not wearing clothes. I can just stick it in.
   —ImYY4U

(Hey Z, shut it)
Shut what?
(Your penis.)
That's a lot to shut.
   —Padre

(To "Blades of Steel" theme song, in a sensual porno voice) Uh, uh uh uh, uh uh uh uh uh, oooh!
   —Padre

She and Tom are going to make Pangea.
   —Padre

Sorry, my suitemate was rubbing his crotch on my face.
   —ImYY4U

(Whose phone is ringing?) It must be Tom's cause I can't pronounce the name.
   —SAS

Let's go jizz on our neighbor's stove. Yeah, cook THAT, bitch!
   —ImYY4U

What's that smell? What did you have to eat tonight? -ImYY4U
A few pizzas, and America surprise.
   —Padre

Nothing turns me on like a man with hard nipples.
   —DB

Hey, I'll take a Pam in the face over two in the bush!
   —Padre

[Padre] and articles of clothing don't mix.
   —IMYY4U

[Hilts'] penis is like the bullet that killed John F. Kennedy.
   —Idiot

You want to strap that on and take it for a ride? Come on, it'll be an adventure!
   —cypher

That should be how you rate them - how hard your penis gets.
   —cypher

(While watching a film about teenage lesbians) Oh come on now, make out!
   —Idiot

There's no way you could masturbate 12 times in 24 hours. You'd be so fucking sore!
   —ImYY4U

I don't know what happened. I returned a phone call and then an hour later I was drunk.
   —Idiot

Hey baby, I'm the one you've been getting drunk for.
   —cypher

John's scrotum is saggin' it like cool so much that he has to have it steam pressed
   —Hilts

It's disturbing that you have such a thing for this 14 year old. - Slacker
Hey, she has breasts - Hilts
I think those are still in development - Slacker
But they're still there!
   —Hilts

Uppin' it like poop.
   —IMYY4U

You should drill a hole in her seat and then pop two in the stink.
   —IMYY4U

Speaking of ejaculation, I'm going to go lock myself in the bathroom
   —cypher

Saggin' it like cool.
   —Hilts

I'm going to slap your cheeks while I tongue your hole.
   —IMYY4U

I'd better see a fucking 38 soon, I need a tongue in my ass.
   —IMYY4U

That's having butt sex with your mule, right?
   —cypher

No! My pussy's all gone!
   —Padre

If you could get in my pants, I would be more than happy.
   —Scoot

Mmm, moose ass!
   —SAS

(IMYY4U and L1 chanting: Tastes great, less filling) Talking about me?
   —Padre

Ok, somebody's hand needs to stop touching my butt (after Padre's hand was "forced" to touch his butt). Ok, two points of advice. One: That's funny. Two: When someone tries to put your hand on a butt, you need to resist!
   —Hilts

Walking is funny!
   —cypher

All the women want some hard Koch!
   —KochMachine

My dick is harder than the wall!
   —KochMachine

Dabfuck has had sex with more women than O.J. Simpson has had people suck his thumbs!
   —KochMachine

Stop moving around! I am going to lose my erection!
   —Slacker

(Holding his crotch and dancing toward L1) ...because friction creates heat...and heat creates love!
   —Hilts

(Knocking on John's door) Gay sex! Let me in!
   —DB

Oh holy mother what a dick!
   —Padre

Why don't you just jizz on your hand and wash yourself with that?
   —Woo

Skinker's crotch is in my ass!
   —Idiot

Ho ho ho I'm Santa fucking Claus!
   —Idiot

Why do I get so cold when I'm drunk? And why does the show "Friends" make no fucking sense?
   —Idiot

I do water like people do crack
   —Idiot

Well, if they're perky, it won't hurt.
   —Padre

Apparently, fucking that ball was the best career move he could have made
   —Padre

(John likes them old and young. If you can't be in the army, then you are just his type. - Hilts) Rob the cradle and rob the crypt!
   —IMYY4U

That's more confusing than my sexual orientation!
   —Hilts

Maybe we'll get to meet some girls...replace 'meet' with 'stare at' and 'girls' with 'ugly WashU trash'.
   —IMYY4U

I don't care if she's 8 years old as long as she has a butt like that!
   —Hilts

Once you go to Linux, it's so hard to go back [to Windows]. It's like you're spoiled.
   —former MS drone ImYY4U

ImYY4U: doot doot do doot doot do doot doot da da da da
W00DoG57: *lasso's air and plays with nipple*
ImYY4U: *arash pounds on ground and goat appears*
W00DoG57: *smiles and bobs head*
ImYY4U: *lasso's goat and beats Dick*
W00DoG57: doot doot do doot doot do doot doot do baa baa baa
   —Imitation of Tunak Tunak Video

I think our relationship has reached the point where only anal sex can... -L1Dave
Describe how we feel about one another? -Hilts
Yeah.
   —L1Dave

If I wanted to be an elementary school teacher, I would get so much @$$.
   —IMYY4U

[Throw (condom) away after use - L1] Throw it away? I thought you eat it!
   —ImYY4U

I got a Men's Health thing and it said 'Dear Sir, you are exactly the kind of man we are looking for.' I can get this booklet that will tell me how to prolong my erections!
   —SAS

{([I want a condom - SAS] Why, so you can cuddle with it? - Drakken) Yes. It's the closest I can get. - SAS} What? To cuddling with a penis?
   —cypher

(...my ass. --Idiot)
I'd be glad to fill that up.
   —cypher

(referring to a professor) He's like John if you replace alcohol with string processing algorithms.
   —idiot

Wash U is, at the very least, mediocre, and Satan is considerably below mediocre.
   —idiot

(Wasn't that when Z puked everywhere and you cleaned it up? -- idiot)
Yeah, that was fun.
   —pandaposse

Brandon, you have three options:
1. You can stay in your room and not open the door. In which case, you will not be allowed out for 24 hrs. Not for class, not for peeing and you'll have to poop on your floor.
2. You can open the door and move to the rear of the room. I will give you a bucket, two plastic bags, and toilet paper. This will help the poop problem, but you'll still have to miss class.
Or 3. You can come out now. And your butt will bleed.
   —Hilts

I wanna floss your ass with my tongue
   —IMYY4U

I get respect because I'm black
   —Padre

Richard has sex with me all the time and I'm not wearing anything on my head.
   —Scoot

Hahaha how's your penis?
   —SPOA

I could jizz a smile on your chest, [SAS].
   —Slacker

Yeah, I do want to dominate her pussy.
   —Padre

Want to boil an egg on your scrotum?
   —Hilts

Gravity makes things go down. Does that work on you [SAS]?
   —ImYY4U

Were they pierced or is she just perky?
   —Cypher

Yeah, yeah you can't double yeah my put.
   —ImYY4U

I thought he was just going to caress it
   —Padre

Ring, ring out of my way, I'm a cyclist!
   —Padre

Yeah, if I had power, I'd use it to get a tongue in my butthole.
   —Hilts

We should get tee shirts that say 'I went to Myrtle Beach and all I rimmed was a lousy 12 year old'.
   —IMYY4U

My mother has nine siblings, and my father has...some. And I'm gay.
   —ToJo

Aww, no man jizz for me today.
   —ToJo

Are you ready for these horny animals?
   —Hilts

Hey, this is a girl, what are you doing?!?
   —ToJo

How fast can I increase one cup size? Cause I need results fast!
   —Hilts

Richard is playing with my penis. No, it's my penis! Let go of it!
   —ImYY4U

I have a 5.5 inch floppy!
   —KochMachine

God, I'm so queer
   —ImYY4U

I refer to my dick as 'grilled cheese' and my ass as 'ham on rye'.
   —ImYY4U

I'm gonna play a game called "catch the sperm".
   —Woo

A lot of people came in your room freshman year. I know I came multiple times.
   —ImYY4U

I don't think he's gay. When we were having sex last night he didn't seem to enjoy it all that much.
   —cypher

Oh, I can get something off with my hand.
   —Scoot

I'm just having trouble getting things off with my hands today.
   —Scoot

I want a 2 minute ass orgasm!
   —ImYY4U

Where's the balls slapping?! There's no balls slapping on my ass!
   —ImYY4U

What, you don't desire a creamy orgasm?
   —ToJo

Dude, I'm downloading my first orgy.
   —ImYY4U

['Women aren't meat!'] They're hot and juicy!
   —ImYY4U

Zwerdog - f*** me in the @$$ for $20.
   —ImYY4U

What's Woo's last name?
   —SPOA

I'm a girl, I'm supposed to be on my knees.
   —SAS

You like pussy, don't you?
   —SPOA

Maybe we should stick these up your butt and pull out some poop.
   —Hilts

When I get drunk I want to do it with frogs!
   —SPOA

Well, I'm not going to be stapling my dick for you then!
   —DB

So [Schnapps], you wanted to fuck me? [everyone in the room rolling on the floor laughing at this point] ...no, really?
   —Padre

[Padre's] penis is bigger than her!
   —Hilts

You know there's no way to stop people from masturbating in showers.
   —ImYY4U

That's no fun. There's no sex.
   —Tom

There's more shit coming out of his mouth than Tom's ass.
   —Brandon talking about Z

(Will you shut up about fucking Mynx!); That's exactly what everyone wants to do, fucking Mynx.
   —ImYY4U

Pretty fly for a phenol.
   —Tom

(I'm not allowed to betray the wank anymore.); The wank is very uptight about this.
   —Padre

Wow, my breasts are big.
   —Padre

You know I love going into my room and getting genital herpes. Yes! Genital herpes for my birthday!
   —Hilts

Hawaii's vote won't come in for another twelve years, but it doesn't matter because they're the size of a thumbtack.
   —ImYY4U

I don't like Claytaurus that much.
   —Scoot

Smack my Brandon up!
   —Richard

Brandon, you're Richard's bitch.
   —John

I'm not going to say 'boink'. What are we, in fourth grade? I'll use 'poop,' that's mature.
   —Hilts

If you're looking for anal sex, I'm not cumming!
   —Drakken

Anal sex with mice!
   —ImYY4U

My spikes are too big to fit up your ass!
   —ImYY4U

I don't know how tight your ass is, but I bet my spikes would fit.
   —ImYY4U

Do you know how many mice I could fuck at once if I used my spikes?
   —ImYY4U

(I'm gonna take $2.50 out of your ass!); There's no more money in there!
   —Padre

Remember, never use two tampons at once!
   —ImYY4U

There's always a party in my pants.
   —Drakken

She's not attractive but she's got enormous breasts...God they're big!
   —Padre

I like it when guys look at me!
   —DB

(You did look playful.); Yeah, I was just waiting for you to throw a ball of yarn at me.
   —Padre

You can't fuck an earthworm, because as soon as you tried, you would crush it.
   —Padre

([Hilts], you're touching his pubic hair.); Well, I usually eat it so it doesn't bother me.
   —Hilts

You're a vinyl messiah.
   —Padre

I go for Chinese dogs.
   —DB

Sir, please lick it.
   —ImYY4U

[Spiky], if you ever get agitated, I'll calm you down with some anal sex.
   —Drakken

That's what I get for shoving it in my mouth.
   —Scoot

Everybody gets busy when they know I'm watching.
   —Woo

Suck my cannon.
   —Hilts

Yeah, it's like a meat party in my mouth.
   —Impatient

Yeah, now I've got chrome balls! (What'd you do, now you have tiny balls!); I don't have tiny balls!
   —Tom

I wanna stick my penis in someone's hairy butthole.
   —Hilts

No, I just cunted.
   —Drakken

These nuts kinda suck to swallow.
   —Scoot

Yeah, lock on to my ass!
   —SAS

They were just discussing how many shot glasses they could fill with their semen.
   —Drakken

The more chances we have to discuss a penis the better.
   —Hilts

John, pull out, we gotta go!
   —Hilts

You know you want to massage my crotch.
   —Scoot

Look Sarah, here' s my crotch! Here's my crotch!
   —Scoot

As soon as John gets drunk, I'm on his ass.
   —Padre

I solved my dumbass problem.
   —Padre

At this time, ToJo deserves to suck my dick.
   —ImYY4U

If this Pitbull's ass is as good as it sounds...
   —Idiot

Dude, we don't have camel's dick!
   —Drakken

Go kill the gimpy kid on the street and bring me his wrist.
   —cypher

When you wear new underwear, it makes your day so much better!
   —SAS

(Have you ever had a semen filled donut?); Yes! Of course!
   —ImYY4U

[I don't get] ass till the end...and even then it's only shoddy 16-bit ass.
   —Drakken

Oh, please don't fuck me.
   —Padre

That would be the best for ImYY4U; incest with mice!
   —Hilts

Brandon has a gold-leaf penis!
   —Hilts

Scott's dick in Paris!
   —Woo

Scott's dick the miniseries!
   —L1

I like listening to Scott's dick!
   —ImYY4U

Scott's dick against a microphone!
   —Scoot

Scott's going to record his dick against a microphone!
   —ImYY4U

If you don't have a vagina, that's OK, I'll make one.
   —Hilts

[SAS is] jizzin' all over herself!
   —Scoot

Pull down your pants long enough for me to masturbate.
   —ImYY4U

Can I have your penis, [Hilts]?
   —Scoot

I'll pay you five dollars to cum in my mouth.
   —ImYY4U

Might as well eat my penis. Ouch.
   —Hilts

No, I just wanted to thrust my penis around in your face.
   —Scoot

I'll watch the dick!
   —Scoot

That's a good-looking guy!
   —ImYY4U

Oh, I hope he's masturbating again.
   —SAS

Yeah, ImYY4U gets to suck my penis!
   —Drakken

Exactly, and our tits would freeze.
   —Pandaposse

He was discharging himself on everything!
   —SAS

Oh, you want to see some sleevage, eh?
   —Padre

What! I'm a woman!
   —Padre